Building Core Value

The Science of the Soul

 Steven Stosny, Ph.D.

This .pdf file contains everything you need to know about building and expanding your ability to create value in your life. Core value is the lifeforce that gives meaning and purpose to everything you do. 48 pages. $5

The following excerpt from Building Core Value was published by Dr. Stosny's on Psychology Today.com

Basic Humanity and Well Being

Basic humanity is an innate capacity for interest in the well being of others. In its more developed expressions, it motivates respectful, helpful, valuing, nurturing, protective, and altruistic behaviors. In extreme adversity, it motivates sacrifice and rescue.

Basic humanity allows us to grow beyond the confines of personal experience and prejudiceto recognize the inherent value of other people. The more in touch with basic humanity, the more humane we feel. When out of touch with it, we feel less humane.

The Path to Well Being

 If you perceive yourself to have emotional needs that must be met, try this experiment: For just two weeks, forget about your emotional needs and focus instead on developing your sense of basic humanity.

Growth in basic humanity doesn't mean becoming Mother Theresa, nor does it necessarily mean giving to charity or doing volunteer work. There are degrees of basic humanity, and most of us can do quite well by regularly exercising only a moderate level.

Highest Level of Basic Humanity:

  • Universal brotherhood
  • All people are connected
  • Drive to enhance and protect the welfare of others
  • Sacrifice for the greater good

Moderate Level:

  • Feeling equal to all, superior to none
  • Respectful of everyone
  • Generally helpful
  • Acting according to one's deepest values rather than reacting in kind to the bad behavior of others

Low Level:

  • Feeling superior or inferior (opposite sides of the same coin)
  • More manipulative than helpful
  • Resentful
  • Vindictive

Underdeveloped Basic Humanity:

  • Sense of isolation
  • Contemptuous
  • Vengeful
  • Willingness to harm

How to Maintain Moderate Levels of Basic Humanity

  • The secret is accepting that humane behaviors are their own rewards, rather than investments for expected returns from others. We must replace: "I'll be nice to you so you'll do something for me," with, "I'll be nice to you because it's the right thing to do and will make it more likely that you'll be nice to someone else, who then may be nice to yet another person."
  • Know that everyone has a sense of basic humanity - even the person acting like a complete jerk right now would probably rescue a child in danger. The harder it is to recognize the basic humanity of another person, the greater the reward in doing so. There's only a little gain in appreciating Mother Theresa, while there is great reward in seeing a faint glimmer of humanity in Jeffrey Dahmer, if you can do it.
  • Realize that you raise self-value by valuing others and lower it by devaluing others.
  • Recognize that most people are more frail than cruel.
  • Respect each and every person.
  • Do some small thing every day to make the world a better place.

If you do the above consistently for two weeks, you should experience longer lasting states of well being than you can possibly achieve with focus on "getting your needs met."