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Friday, July 04 2008

For professionals & educators
Anger and Resentment
TESTS

Save Your Love, Marriage, Children, Job, Health

The tests on this page are designed to measure the kind of anger that anger management classes fail to address.

What Anger, Resentment, Impatience, Jealousy & Aggression Tell You

  • Something you value seems threatened
  • Your value as a person seems threatened
  • Your values are in conflict
  • You devalue those you value

Love, Anger & Resentment Facts
Many subtle and hidden forms of anger, resentment, and aggression as well as obvious ones, ruin health, love, and relationships.

Anger, resentment, and impatience:

  • Increase risk of many deadly disorders, including heart disease, stroke, cancer, high blood pressure
  • Increase risk of depression, anxiety, alcoholism, drug-addiction, and other compulsive behavior, such as workaholism and extra-marital affairs, are strongly associated with anger and resentment
  • Reduce performance competence while raising performance expectations
  • Increase error rates and misjudgments
  • Make you a reactaholic - when other people "push your buttons," you’re a powerless reactor
  • Eventually ruin intimacy and sex life
  • Create power struggles
  • Cause behavior impulses to:
    • Control/neutralize
    • Warn-threaten-intimidate
    • Inflict injury on feelings
    • Inflict injury on the body
  • Eliminate positive passion (conviction, meaning, intensity of purpose) through compulsion to avenge, punish, or withdrawal.
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For professionals & educators
Anger Test
Check each of the following, if you felt it during the past week
  • If people would cooperate you would not have most of your problems___
  • Losing temper easily ___
  • Angry ___
  • Annoyed ___
  • Feeling rage ___
  • Impatience ___
  • Why can’t people do what they should? ___
  • Restless ___
  • Feeling hate ___
  • Furious ___
  • Hot-tempered___
  • Trouble sleeping ___
  • Feeling hostile __
  • Infuriated ___
  • Can't relax ___
  • Enraged ___
  • Irritated by other people ___
  • Feel like attacking people ___
  • Shaking with anger ___
  • Mad ___

More than three check marks? HEALS can help.

Resentment Test

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For professionals & educators

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For professionals & educators
Impatience Test
Save Your Marriage, Children, Job, Health

When you're in a hurry or need to get things done or just in the course of an ordinary day, do you:
  • Lose track of other people's perspectives? ____
  • Understand how they feel? ____
  • Care how they feel? ____
  • Think only about the way things should be handled? ____
  • Understand how they feel? ____
  • Feel disgusted by other people's choices? ____
  • Feel taken advantage of? ____
  • Held back? ____
  • Manipulated? ____
  • Like hardly anything works the way it should? ____
  • Like the world is full of jerks? ____

HEALS

Anger Junkie

Love, anger, and violence at home test

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The Most Common Arousal-Analgesic Addiction: Anger/Resentment

(from The Powerful Self)

As part of the fight or flight instinct we share with all mammals, anger is the only emotion that acti­vates every muscle group of the body. It comes from the limbic system, a small region of the brain known as the mammalian brain, because we share it with all mam­mals. Virtually every mammal experiences anger the same way that we do, to mobilize the organism for fight­ing.

The biochemicals secreted in the brain during the experience of anger — most notably the hor­mone, epinephrine and the neuro­transmitter, norepinephrine — are experienced much like an amphetamine and an analgesic. They give a surge of energy while they numb pain.

Epinephrine is an especially powerful chemical that is sometimes injected directly into the stilled hearts of heart-attack victims to get them to beat again. As with any amphetamine, once the surge of anger burns out, you crash. (That surge of energy is borrowed from the future.) The experience of anger is always followed, to some de­gree, by depression.

Think about it: The last time you got really angry, you got really depressed afterwards. The angrier you get, the more depressed you get, once it wears off. And that is merely the physiological response, regardless of whether you do something while angry that you're ashamed of, like hurting the feelings of someone you love.

So an addictive trap is sprung when the energy surge of anger is used frequently. In no time at all, anger will seem necessary to escape depressed mood, even though it inevitably means more depression. In other words, the brain will look for excuses to be angry and make you an anger junkie.

You may be an anger junkie if you use anger: 

  • For energy or motivation (can't get going or keep going without some degree of anger). This often takes the form of getting mildly angry to do a job you don’t like to do, like your taxes or raking the leaves. The anger gives you the energy to get through the task, even though you won’t do it as efficiently 
  • For pain-relief (it hurts when you're not angry) 
  • For confidence, a stronger sense of self — you only feel certain when angry (probably because you’re oversimplifying) 
  • To ease anxiety, especially in new or uncertain situations. If you get irritable when things depart from the norm or if you’re super-critical in new social situations, you are using anger as an anxiety-reducer 
  • To militate out of depressed mood. This can put you on one wicked roller-coaster ride. Pretty soon you’ll have only two feeling-states: one of the many forms of anger, such as grouchiness, irritability, or resentment on the one hand, and depression, lethargy, or weariness on the other.

The Anger-Junkie Test                      

                     

I use anger or resentment: 

  • For energy or motivation (can’t get going or keep going without some degree of anger) ___
  •  For pain-relief (it hurts when not angry) ___ 
  • For confidence (only feel cer­tain when angry) ___ 
  • To ease anxiety  ___ 
  • To avoid depression ___ 
  • To enforce a sense of entitlement  ___ 
  • To punish or inhibit honest disagreement with opinions  ___
  • More than once a day, and when you expe­ri­ence anger, it lasts for more than a few minutes. ___

HEALS

Love, anger, and violence at home test



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



For professionals & educators
Love, Anger, and Violence at Home Test

Save Your Marriage, Children, Job, Health

When I am angry at my spouse (or significant other) and I think about his or her point of view or how she is feeling:
  1. I feel angrier ____
  2. I feel kinder ____
  3. I feel warmer ____
  4. I feel furious ____
  5. I don't care about his or her point of view, at least not until I cool down ____
  6. I feel patient ____
  7. I feel like I should give support and sympathy ____
  8. I feel like I should apologize for hurting his or her feelings ____
  9. I feel charitable, forgiving ____
  10. I find that I can't think about what he or she is feeling until I calm down ____
  11. I wish he or she would just see it the right way ____
  12. Why should I see it their way, they don't see my point of view ____

Subtract checks on b, c, f, g, h, i from checks on a, d, e, j, k, l.

HEALS

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