Relationship Value Quiz

(print out and answer)

(Circle one number)

How important is your relationship to you?

1. The most important thing in my life
2. Very important
3. Somewhat important
4. I'm fed up with it

Tests of Importance

With whom would you most want to share your moments of success, triumph, and joy?

1. My partner
2. Someone else  
3. No one

Who would you most want to be there for you if you suffered great sorrow or loss?

1. My partner
2. Someone else  
3. No one

If a meteor were predicted to crash into the earth in the next day, with whom would you most want to spend your last hours?

1. My partner
2. Someone else  
3. No one

(Circle all that apply:)

What kind of relationship do you want to have with your partner?

1. Close
2. Supportive
3. Passionate
4. Just friendly and cooperative (not close or passionate)
5. Just civil

What changes do you think you will need to make to achieve the kind of relationship you want in the future?

1. I will need to be more (circle all that apply):
2. Compassionate
3. Loving
4. Supportive
5. Generous of spirit (giving of yourself)
6. Distracted
7. Aloof
8. Withholding
9. Critical
10. Defensive

Your Value Choices

Value choices are about the things that are most important to you and about you. In disputes and disagreements with your partner, you must ask yourself from the perspective of your deepest values:

1. Do you want to feel resentful or angry?
2. Do you want to feel devalued?
3. Do you want to feel guilty?
4. Do you want to feel inadequate or unlovable?
5. Do you want to devalue your partner?
6. Do you want to make your partner feel inadequate or unlovable?
7. What can you do in this dispute or disagreement that will make you feel more valuable and lovable ( not more powerful) more valuable and lovable.
8. What can you do to make your partner feel more valuable and lovable?