How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love beyond Words reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness:
Love is not about better communication.
It’s about connection.
Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied an all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion.
Even with the best of intentions, talking about your marriage doesn’t bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart, increasing resentment and decreasing compassion.
Underlying most couples’ fights is a biological mechanism observed in most social animals:
Anxiety or fear of high estrogen members of the group stimulates protective aggression (or shame over failure to protect) in high testosterone members.
The higher estrogen partner’s vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while the higher testosterone partner’s dread of failure makes him pull away.
This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can’t happen through words.
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It: Finding Love beyond Words is rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around.
The books is full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages.
“If you’ve ever told your spouse, ‘I talk until I’m blue in the face,’ or ‘It’s in one ear and out the other,’ stop whatever you’re doing and read this book immediately! You’re about to discover why talking things out isn’t always the best way to get through to your spouse or achieve more closeness and connection. More important, you’ll learn exactly what you need to do today to truly transform your relationship forever.” —Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, founder of divorcebusting.com and author of Divorce Busting and The Sex-Starved Marriage
“Finally a book about improving the marital relationship that honors the differences between the male and female brain!” —Louann Brizendine, M.D., Author, The Female Brain
“Finally the answer to both a man’s and a woman’s fondest dreams. Just as the title says, this book shows you how to actually create passionate, intimate bonding and connection instead of just talking about it. —Diane Sollee, MSW, founder and director, www.smartmarriages.com