For professionals & educators
Treating and Preventing Child Abuse & Domestic Violence
The Core Value Workshop
Going beyond anger management and anger control to teach
compassion as an antidote to emotional abuse, verbal abuse,
and domestic violence.
Bill of Rights
- No one, under any circumstance, deserves to feel disregarded, insulted, controlled, coerced, intimidated, hurt, hit, pushed, grabbed, or touched in any undesired way.
- Nothing that anyone in a family says or does justifies abuse. One act of abuse never justifies another.
- Everyone has the right and the responsibility to heal suffering. Whenever we hurt a loved one we bleed a little inside. That internal injury, unhealed, becomes the source of still more anger, aggression, diminished sense of self, and enduring misery.
No matter what the circumstances, people feel bad for hurting loved ones. To avoid that bad feeling, to avoid hurting yourself and those you love, use the following emergency tactics.
Manual of the Core Value Workshop
- Know that you have the absolute power to keep from hurting people you love even though you feel hurt and angry. There is no such thing as uncontrollable anger. You have a lot more inner-strength than the lashing-out response of anger.
- There is no such thing as a safe level of family violence. The home is the most dangerous place to have physical altercations, in terms of things to fall over, places to crack head and bones, and lethal objects to hurl. Serious injury and death occur frequently from relatively little force.
- Know your early aggression danger signs: what aggression feels like in your head, your eyes, your mouth, neck, shoulders, chest, back, and hands.
- Anger comes from hurt. Focus on the hurt, not the anger. What hurt you? What hurt him or her? How can you make the situation better? Once you ask yourself this question, you cannot be abusive.
- Know that when you are angry, you are not yourself. The angry you is not the real you. The anger is merely a symptom of hurt. The real you lies in healing.
- Take a time-out (leave the room or the house). You will learn more powerful techniques in the Core Value Workshop, but until then, use time-outs.
- If anyone in the family is afraid of violence, call the police.
- If violence is not a threat, but you are hurting each other emotionally, call your local hot line number.
This intensive, skill-building treatment for spouse and child
abusers removes the motivation for abusive behavior. A panoply of skills
reinforces compassionate identity as the optimum form of self-empowerment.
Deficits in three areas motivate abusive
behavior and attempts to dominate and control: emotional awareness,
compassion, and self-regulation skill. The treatment raises the emotional
intelligence of abusers through greater awareness of their internal
experience and that of loved ones. Proven self-regulation techniques
lower emotional reactivity in the family, allowing greater individual
freedom and expression. It goes well beyond any anger management
class or anger control course to target resentment as ultimate source
of abuse in marriage and other intimate relationships. Online Store
The Powerful Self:
A Workbook of Therapeutic Self-Empowerment
The Powerful Self provides skills to reverse self-limiting
habits, self-destructive behavior, and abusive impulses. Dozens of
techniques and exercises enable the internal regulation of anger,
anxiety, obsessions, self-esteem, addictions, and compulsive behavior. Online Store
My Good Heart: Drawing
the Greatness Inside You
This drawing book, for ages 5 to 10, presents a fun, non-preachy format
for learning compassion, anger-regulation, and core value.
HEALSTM CD-ROM Preview (Powerpoint)