Core Value Decision Trees

When ego, convenience, comforts, or pleasures become more important than compassion for one another, relationships go into a downward spiral of misery.


To prevent relationship damage, both parties must be ever mindful that their emotional connection to one another is the most important thing between them, more important than individual ego, convenience, comforts, or pleasures.


The crucial skill for preventing relationship damage -- and repairing it when it occurs -- is self-regulation, which enables you to hold onto your self-value and your value for your partner when you disagree. HEALS builds self-regulation skill by exercising your core value.


In general, when you behave according to your core value, you have a sense of purpose; you feel more authentic and have far less self-doubt, resentment, and anger. When you violate your core value, you experience guilt, shame, and anxiety, which usually get expressed as resentment, anger, or depression. Description of core value.

The following core value decision trees can help you sort out what is most important in disagreements or disputes with your partner.