Do You Express Resentment, Anger, or Emotional Abuse?

Are You a Resentful or Angry Man or Woman?

Man

•  Does it feel like your wife or girlfriend pushes your buttons?
•  Does she have a way of putting you in a bad mood?
•  Are there times when you don't want to speak to her or be around her?
•  Do you feel like you overlook a lot, until you can't stand it anymore?
•  Does she frequently “do things the wrong way?”
•  Can you be having a nice time and then out of nowhere she says or does something to set you off?
•  Are you ever on edge about having an unpleasant evening?
•  Does it feel like you have to criticize her for not being more efficient, reliable, or a better person?
•  Do you treat her in ways you couldn't have imagined when you first started caring about her?

If you answered yes to any of the above, here are some things that your wife or girlfriend probably says about you:

•  He doesn't see or hear me.
•  He's so moody.
•  I just want him to pay more attention to me.
•  Nothing I do is good enough.
•  I feel like I'm walking on eggshells.

Woman

Do you sometimes make your man feel like a failure as a provider, partner, parent, or lover?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to see if your husband walks on eggshells:

•  Does he tell you that you sometimes yell and scream or lash out at him?

•  Do your girlfriends ever remark that you might treat him badly?

•  Do you automatically blame him when things go wrong?

•  Do you resort to name - calling, swearing at him, or putting him down?

•  Do you demean or belittle him in front of other people or your children an don't know how to stop?

•  Do you threaten him physically?  

•  Do you threaten to take his children away so he will never see them?

•  Are you often jealous and want to know where he is at all times?

•  Would your family and friends be surprised to know how you treat him behind closed doors?

If you answered yes to any of the above, here are some things that your husband or boyfriend probably says about you:

•  She's a nag.
•  She's so moody.
•  She's so unpleasant to be around.
•  I just want her to leave me alone.
•  Nothing I do is good enough.
•  I feel like I'm walking on eggshells.

Millions of marriages walk on eggshells, in constant dread that their partners will set them off or make them feel bad. Anger management classes and courses fail to address issues of verbal abuse and emotional abuse. If you do not change this pattern, your resentment inevitably will lead either to angry outbursts or to the quieter but just as hurtful alternative, “the silent treatment.” Eventually you'll cross the line into emotional abuse, making your partner feel disregarded, rejected, unattractive, incompetent, inadequate, or afraid. You have the power to prevent emotional and verbal abuse.

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