Am I the Partner I Want to Be? Two things happen when we focus too much on what we want from our partners, and both of them are bad. Exclusive focus on what you want your partner to do for you makes it likely that you will violate your own core value. You are saying to yourself:
Of course, your partner is likely to react negatively to your critical focus on him or her. Your greatest chance of changing your partner's behavior is to change the way he/she reacts to you. In other words, your partner is likely to respond in kind to your approach, whether you are in your core value on the one hand or negative and demanding on the other. But regardless of how your partner responds, you will be more authentic and true to yourself if you behave like the partner you want to be, rather than focus on what you want your partner to do. The following checklist can help:
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