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Friday, March 06 2015
The Most Common Addiction: Anger/Resentment

(from The Powerful Self)

As part of the fight or flight instinct we share with all mammals, anger is the only emotion that acti­vates every muscle group of the body. It comes from the limbic system, a small region of the brain known as the mammalian brain, because we share it with all mam­mals. Virtually every mammal experiences anger the same way that we do, to mobilize the organism for fight­ing.

The biochemicals secreted in the brain during the experience of anger — most notably the hor­mone, epinephrine and the neuro­transmitter, norepinephrine — are experienced much like an amphetamine and an analgesic. They give a surge of energy while they numb pain.

Epinephrine is an especially powerful chemical that is sometimes injected directly into the stilled hearts of heart-attack victims to get them to beat again. As with any amphetamine, once the surge of anger burns out, you crash. (That surge of energy is borrowed from the future.) The experience of anger is always followed, to some de­gree, by depression.

Think about it: The last time you got really angry, you got really depressed afterwards. The angrier you get, the more depressed you get, once it wears off. And that is merely the physiological response, regardless of whether you do something while angry that you're ashamed of, like hurting the feelings of someone you love.

So an addictive trap is sprung when the energy surge of anger is used frequently. In no time at all, anger will seem necessary to escape depressed mood, even though it inevitably means more depression. In other words, the brain will look for excuses to be angry and make you an anger junkie.

You may be an anger junkie if you use anger: 

  • For energy or motivation (can't get going or keep going without some degree of anger). This often takes the form of getting mildly angry to do a job you don’t like to do, like your taxes or raking the leaves. The anger gives you the energy to get through the task, even though you won’t do it as efficiently 
  • For pain-relief (it hurts when you're not angry) 
  • For confidence, a stronger sense of self — you only feel certain when angry (probably because you’re oversimplifying) 
  • To ease anxiety, especially in new or uncertain situations. If you get irritable when things depart from the norm or if you’re super-critical in new social situations, you are using anger as an anxiety-reducer 
  • To militate out of depressed mood. This can put you on one wicked roller-coaster ride. Pretty soon you’ll have only two feeling-states: one of the many forms of anger, such as grouchiness, irritability, or resentment on the one hand, and depression, lethargy, or weariness on the other.

The Anger-Junkie Test                      


I use anger or resentment: 

  • For energy or motivation (can’t get going or keep going without some degree of anger) ___
  •  For pain-relief (it hurts when not angry) ___ 
  • For confidence (only feel cer­tain when angry) ___ 
  • To ease anxiety  ___ 
  • To avoid depression ___ 
  • To enforce a sense of entitlement  ___ 
  • To punish or inhibit honest disagreement with opinions  ___
  • More than once a day, and when you expe­ri­ence anger, it lasts for more than a few minutes. ___


Love, anger, and violence at home test